(läses med Big Brother-mannens släpiga, dialektala, farsartade röst)
DAY 154
11.05 AM. Orla is in the office area, sitting in her office chair, while Big Syl is in the far most corner of the office, playing solitaire on her PC. Yvette is typing away on her keyboard in the other office chair. Yvette has made tea for Big Syl.
11.08 AM Beatrice is in the diary room, talking to Big Syl. Big Syl now parks her immense rear on her office chair, enjoying another game of solitaire, scratching her mouth wart.
11.12 AM Beatrice is spying on Orla, making sure she doesn’t play solitaire or browse the Internet. Orla has put some paper in front of her, pretending to be working.
11.15 AM Yvette is on the phone to Matthew, talking about the diner.
11.21 AM Big Syl has started a new round of solitaire, now with 4 suites to make it more challenging. Big Syl has got a payrise now that she has managed to crack the hardest level on Solitaire.
11.26 AM Orla is in the kitchen area, making herself some coffee.
11.31 AM Big Syl is moving across the office floor, putting two oranges in the fruit bowl. Yvette, who loves only bananas, is looking devastated in her office chair.
11.36 AM Yvette is in the fax area, grabbing a fax from the fax machine. Yvette is pretending to read a fax while placing a e-bay bet for some skiing trousers.
11.41 AM Yvette is very disappointed to learn she lost the bet on the skiing trousers.
11.46 AM Beatrice is in the private office, sifting through her business e-mails. Orla is in the main office putting all her private e-mails in a folder marked Friends, there are 759 e-mails in this folder.
11.51 AM Big Syl is in the diary room talking to Beatrice about selling the diner. Big Syl is getting a bonus of 1 million pounds for her great efforts.
11.53 AM Big Syl celebrates her bonus with a game of solitaire. Big Syl now has a 12% win rate on the 4-suite solitaire, which results in another bonus of £15,000.
DAY 155 – NOMINATION DAY
10.52 AM Big Syl is in the diary room making her nominations: My first nomination is Orla, because I simply can’t stand her, she’s rude, she’s a bitch, and she’s better than me at Solitaire which fucking annoys me! Get her out, she’s done her time here, I never liked her to start with, but hell has she become worse and even better at Solitaire! Out! Out! Out! My second nomination is Hot the Bear – only because it is Orla’s pet and I hate him as well – and he smells! Ugh!
11.03 AM All the other office mates has decided to refrain from nominating this week, as they can’t decide which ones of all disgusting office mates to chose as they hate all of them.
DAY 156 – EVICTION DAY
Hello, Big Office House, this is Barry talking to you, you’re live on channel Bajs, please don’t say fitta or jävla. The first person to leave the Big Office house is........................................................ORLA!!!
6.52 PM Orla is standing up in the main office area, shouting to the office mates: DAMN YOU ALL, YOU INCOMPETENT WANKERS, YOU BAJSFITTAS, JäVLA KäRRINGAR, I CAN’T STAND IT IN HERE, I WANT OUT, I WANT OUT NOW!
Orla, you have been evicted, please leave the Big Office House… Orla, you have been evicted, please leave the Big Office House… Orla, you have been evicted, please leave the Big Office House… Orla, you have been evicted, please leave the Big Office House…
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